Undefinable Experience

How does one define an experience? Is it the photos, the individual moments, the people you share it with? Is an experience a single moment or is it a journey from one point to another? Can an experience be both good and bad? How do we as humans define an experience?

I recently spent three weeks in Tuscany at a 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training. For me, this was the experience of a lifetime, or at least my lifetime so far. And this “experience,” these three weeks of painful, beautiful, enlightening moments is one I cannot define. Countless adjectives would not be enough. How do I go home and explain what I did and learned to my friends and family? I can’t. There is no way I could possibly explain all of the moments, the lessons, the friendships, and the peace I now possess. The only people who can understand in some way are those with whom I trained. Though, as different unique people, we each encountered it differently.

The fifteen of us, ages 20 to 59, came from a variety of backgrounds. We are students, teachers, educators, business owners, and artists. Our common theme: we are all yogis. Whether a yogi for a year or 25 years, each one of us earned the title through our individual journeys to the Tuscan teacher training. Our thoughtful leader, Liz, shaped our wildly different experiences. She saw each of us for who we were and who we became over the three weeks. No one left the training the same person as they arrived. In some way, we all grew--in our practice, our self-confidence, our teaching style, and our self-love. Which begs another question, does an indescribable experience require growth or change? In our case, it did. 

I could try and list different moments from our three weeks, I could tell stories, but many of the moments and stories are ours. The fifteen of us. And we don’t want to share. But what I can share is my growth, what I learned, not from textbooks or classes, but about who I am as a person, and how I will define all my future experiences.

I left for my training after a hectic summer in which I had completely lost my personal practice. A month and a half before I left, I dealt with a bout of salmonella and a bacterial infection. This left me exhausted and run down for weeks. When you’re exhausted, finding time to take care of yourself is virtually impossible. I couldn’t find ways to motivate myself to enjoy asana practice, to meditate, or search for the moments of peace. I left for my training running on low, terrified of what the upcoming experience would mean. Would it be everything I hoped? What did I even hope it would be? Would I be good enough? Am I destined to be a teacher?

All of these questions got answered in the 21 days I spent with Lakshmi Rising. I could never have imagined the personal changes I would make. My body became stronger and more flexible with new asana practices and I found clarity of mind through meditation and conscious dance. I am now able to truly accept myself and free myself from negative thoughts through intention setting, mantras, and pranayama.

You bet your ass, I am good enough. I already was and I always have been. Yoga meets a person exactly where they are. It reaches into the depths of your soul and never lets go. It shows you that no matter whether your leg reaches over your head or is stuck on the ground, you are good enough. It reminds you to find beauty in yourself and in the world around you. Yoga teaches you every day, with every practice, with every meditation, with every thought, that you are good enough. I learned that not only am I destined to be a teacher, but that I already am a teacher. I teach every day by sharing my passion for yoga and wellness with my friends, students, coworkers, and on social media. I teach by following the eight limbs of yoga, by being a calm, mindful role model, and by being my true, authentic self.

One rarely spends time with a group of people that in every moment remains their authentic selves. But for three weeks in Tuscany, I did. We laughed together, we cried together and alone, we hugged every day, supported each other through moments of extreme joy, sadness, fear, and wild abandon. If an experience is defined by the people you share it with, then this will be one of the best experiences of my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to share myself with.

So how do we define an undefinable experience? An experience that is so ingrained with personal growth, you almost wonder how you can move on with your normal life. But the beauty of the undefinable experience, is that no one can take it away from you. No one can ruin the beautiful moments or laugh at the painful ones. And no one will ever have the exact experience you had ever again. The same moments can be shaped, but your experience is your own. You alone get to relish in the beauty.

Now, it’s your turn. Go out and find your undefinable experience. One that makes your heart sing, brings tears to your eyes, and teaches you in ways you could never imagine. You’re worth it.