For the Brides — hungryhungryhelen

As soon as I got engaged, I immediately went into a bad body image phase. It was heartbreaking to me. I had just told the man I love I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and promptly felt like I wasn’t good enough in my current body. I was so mad at myself for feeling this way.

Maybe it was the photos from our engagement that didn’t necessarily get my “best angles” or maybe it was the horrendous amount of social pressure that is placed on brides to look perfect on their special day. Truly I think it was both.

Society tells us that brides should be flawless, with perfect skin, perfect hair, and the perfect body shape to fit into the perfect dress. It sells us on the idea that we couldn’t possibly already be perfect just the way we are. That we must change ourselves to be better and look better or we won’t be good enough. That maybe if we don’t become that idea of perfection, maybe our loved ones won’t think we’re lovable or beautiful.

What a load of stinky old poo.

Saying YES to the dress! I found the perfect dress that makes me feel STUNNING.

Thankfully with my background, I made the conscious decision not to steer into my destructive thoughts. It was a challenge, a daily battle between the devil and the angel on my shoulder. Or really a battle between the diet culture that’s been shoved down my throat since I was a child and the knowledge I’ve gained in the last 5 years about body neutrality and how to handle my bad body image days. However, I realize I am lucky. I have the knowledge, the support, and the resources to tamp down those destructive thoughts (including many conversations about it with my therapist) and to let me self just BE in the time leading up to the wedding.

So I wanted to write this post to share my experience with the other brides in hopes that you let your body BE. To remind you that you are already perfection and someone else must think so too since they have chosen YOU.

We’ve had a long engagement (engaged November 2022, wedding September 2024) and therefore I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. So here are my top tips:

Remember that your partner chose YOU, not you less 10 or 30 pounds from now, but YOU. They love you for who you are regardless of your body size.
Delete anyone on your social media that talks about a “pre-wedding workout” or mentions how brides should look a certain way.
When dress shopping be sure to bring people with you that will support you in your current body and not make any remarks about your size during fittings.
Remember that dress sizes are wild and you most likely will end up purchasing a size different than what you’re used to. But as long as it fits and you feel good, who cares!
Pick a dress (and other wedding attire) that makes you feel gorgeous in your current body and enhances all of your natural beauty.
Leading up to the wedding, set boundaries with your friends and loved ones and ask them not to comment on your body.
Move your body in ways that feel good and find a balance with your nutrition that makes you feel nourished and satisfied.
Make planning fun! Talk about details over dinner or drinks with your partner.
Talk to your wedding photographer. Let them know about things you may be self conscious about and have them help you feel your best.
When looking back at photos, remember how amazing you felt on your wedding day surrounded by all your loved ones and let that feeling take over any feeling of self-consciousness or self-doubt.

All these tips aside, one of the biggest things that has helped me is knowing if I spent all the time leading up to my wedding stressing about food and my body and trying to eat less, I would be miserable by the time my wedding day arrived! I would have spent so much time in a dark hole of bad body image, it would wrap itself around me like a wet blanket on one of the most special days of my life. And I know I don’t want that.

I want to spend the time leading to my wedding and my wedding day full of love and joy. Of course you can’t always predict when a bad body image day will come. But I encourage you to arm yourself with healthy coping mechanisms for those moments. And to know that it’s just a bad body image day, you do not have a bad body. We are all wonderful, beautiful creations and the people who love and support us see this. They see who we are from the inside out and our size or weight holds no value in who we are.

Much love to all the brides to be, we got this.